Another day....

    Well, i'm still here, still in limbo and still have a lot to figure out. I guess that i'll have to find the patience and strength to figure these things out. Everything's always come so easy for me and for the first time in my life, I can't figure out what to do about anything. Just a week ago I thought that I had everything figured out and never thought that I would be pushed back to where I had to start over. I sold every possession that I owned, got rid of my whole entire life in order to start a new one. All with a plan, a plan that's slowly crumbling in to pieces right before my eyes. What makes this even harder is that while starting this transition, I tasted what it was like to love someone again. I knew in the back of my head that I shouldn't have seen her but knew in my heart that I needed to feel it again. I don't know if it was her or the thought of being able to love someone. Who knows....Regardless, It ended with pain and confusion. The last thing that I need right now. Maybe I was in need of the pain? Is it some sort of karma? If it is karma, then how long does one have to suffer until they break even and can start to experience life again without so much pain and heartache....?